Kevin Keegan, the Restroom and Why England Supporters Should Treasure This Period

Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has always been the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to learn that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who took the rest room a little too literally, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss by Fleetwood. “His footwear was missing and couldn't find his phone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And who can forget at the pinnacle of his career playing for City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college to access the restrooms in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then came in and was asking directions to the restrooms, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he entered the drenched troubled England locker room directly following the fixture, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams “fired up”, the two stars urging for the official to reason with Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, saying quietly: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“Where could we possibly locate [for a chat] that was private?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Merely one possibility emerged. The restroom stalls. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past occurred in the ancient loos of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I shut the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his stint as England manager “soulless”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's an extremely challenging position.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are no longer present, while a German now sits in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

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Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, wearing only our undergarments. We were Europe’s best referees, top sportspeople, examples, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our looks wavered slightly nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Silent and observant” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I've opted to write and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|